I Hate Rich People

Oh, the rich. Where do I start. You're such a huge problem for the rest of us. Burning up natural resources, getting away with murder, profiting from our hard work and suffering.... You know I learned in school that ten percent of the people have ninety percent of the wealth.... Well, do the math here... if we killed all the rich people we'd have ten times more money to go around for the rest of us. What do these rich people do all day? Eat at fancy restaurants, use $80 lip balm, drive golf carts around their estates, and buy and sell the rest of us? WTF?

Here's a list of rich people and how and/or why I think they should be killed.

Rupert Murdoch: Forced to watch fox reality programming, and have a nail driven into a different body part every time anyone uses the phrases "baby daddy, shorty, or the bomb"

Paris Hilton: Torn limb from limb by malnourished tea cup chihuahuas.

George Bush Senior: Forced to smoke crack until his heart explodes for his involvement in the "free way rick" c.i.a. crack smuggling operation.

Living Enron People: I know that Ken Lay got off easy dying and all.... That's why I'd like to see the rest of the living Enron execs drooped off in Cabrini Green in Black Face and forced to perform a minstrel show until the shooting makes it stop.

The Pope and Associated Papery: Well the current pope was a member of Hitler youth... John Paul II was a salesman at I.G. Farben, the company that manufactured and sold cyanide to the Nazis for use in concentration camps... Not to mention all this child molestation that's been covered up. I say sodomized with a hot poker!

Eric Clapton: Grrr... I hate you so much Eric Clapton, I mean some of your early work in the 60s is okay, but man you sold out major by the 80s.... You produced the kind of syrupy sweet soft-core radio rock that surely has Robert Johnson rolling in his grave and your unabashed grave robbing of Mississippi delta blues greats seems to leave only one solution... Beaten to death with a $3,000 Eric Clapton signature series martin guitar.

Tom Shane: This is for the Colorado locals. I swear if I have to hear the address of your stores one more time... You are going to have a friend in the hitting you in the face with a crow bar business. Also, you sound like a chomo.

Tom Cruise: I wonder if you were always a creepy weirdo or it was the result of years of Scientology's brain washing. I'd like to see you slide on socks down a hard wood hallway into a meat grinder.

Corporate Prison C.E.O.s : Hey, did you know that 100% of our jails and prisons are run for profit? It's true. Seems kinda immoral huh? I would give them a choice between hanging, lethal injection, or firing squad.

Dick Cheney & Donald Rumsfeld: Oh, these two... These guys have been up to no good since the 70s. I think they should be placed in side of a scale model of the world trade center, then exploded with thermite after having model planes flown into them.

Inventor of Crocs: These shoes are hideous, and you should die for making them

O.J. Simpson: Look, we all know O.J. is gonna fuck up again, can't we just execute him now and get it over with?

Federal Reserve and IRS heads: Many of you may not realize that not only are the federal reserve and IRS not governmental agencies and actually private corporations.... but they are also completely illegal and unconstitutional. I demand Bernanke's head on a platter now!

I'm sure we can all find a solution if we just work together.

I Hate Waiting In Line

I was waiting in line at the dmv this week. It's really weird how ever other business seems to have gotten it's shit together to where waiting has been pretty much eliminated except for the dmv. It's a fact that streamlining your service to decrease wait times will increase revenues, but I guess I wouldn't need to tell the "department of revenue" that. Dipshits.

So, while I was at the dmv I saw a an asian family with a retarded son. He was limp wristing himself all through the aisles, squealing and knocking shit over... Then threw a temper tantrum when they took his picture for the i.d. Well this put me to thinking. I never really see retarded asian people! Why is this? Does something about asian dna produce less retards? Have they bred all the retarded genes out? Are they doing the responsible thing and drowning their retarded children at birth? Are they generally too ashamed to let them out of the kitchen of the restaurants they own? Am I less able to notice retarded features in an asian face? I would really appreciate if anyone has some insight on this.

But damn, I hate waiting in line. If I was dumb enough to believe in hell, I'm pretty sure there would be a long line. In fact I think it would more waiting in line to get assfucked by demons , than actual demonic assfucking. Kind of like going to a six flags theme park.

I Hate Jesus

I feel like this has been a long time coming. Jesus, you don't love me, and stop saying you do. It hurts. That's not love, all your rules and conditions. If you love me so much, accept me as I am.

I'm so sick of having you tell me how live my life all the time, who do you think you are? You act like you're all powerful... you know Jesus, if you have so many magic powers, why don't you start solving some of the worlds problems instead of making a bunch of wine and fishes for you and your dozen buddies and wandering around in the desert all day. In fact why don't you cut your hair, lose those stinky sandals, and get a job.

And you're always playing the martyr. "I died to save you" Saved me? I'm pretty sure the only thing you ever saved was a bunch of fancy hat wearing pedophiles from paying their taxes. And no, I will not give you any money. Stop asking!

I mostly reserve my hate for people and things that really exist. But you're kind of a special case. You're kind of like the Michael Jackson of deities, I mean how you slowly turned yourself white over the years and all. You know, it's not so much you, as your followers. No wait, yeah, It's you.

Jesus Christ, You stinky hippy hooker loving hummus eating lazy lying judgemental jew. You, Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, Luke Skywalker, Abraham Lincoln, and all your other imaginary friends can climb a shit rope ladder. I fucking hate you. Bring it.

I Hate the Police

Three times in my life I've had a person point a gun at me then force me to give them money...

Every time it was a cop.

Here's a real tough guy beating up a 15 year old girl.

Here's what I think:

Yes, Ice Cube... Fuck the Police. Fuck the police. Fuck 'em.

I Hate Lady Gaga

First and foremost, where did this bitch even come from? It's like I woke up one morning and her dim eyed half smile was plastered on every bill board and magazine in the western hemisphere. I'm not going to bother to do any research about you Lady Gaga, but I will assume that you are from the midwest and that your parents are first cousins. Here are some questions I need answered:

1) When did you first know that you were a woman trapped in a man's body trapped in a woman's body?

2) Who has been a bigger influence on your fashion sense? Ru Paul, Divine, or Tammy Faye Baker?

3) Do you have any advice for young people who are completely devoid of talent looking to make it in the entertainment industry?

4) Why are you completely incapable of wearing pants? Is there a name for this condition?

5) What made you decide to become a contestant on "Real Chance of Love 2"?

6) What The Fuck? No Seriously, What The Fuck?

I Hate Barack Obama

Yes, I said it. I fucking hate him, and I voted for him. Everybody gets so squeamish about this subject, and don't get me wrong... I really think it was a victory to see a non white person elected to the office of president; but let's face the facts. THE MAN IS A PUPPET OF INTERNATIONAL BANKING AND CORPORATE BUSINESS! I was promised radical change, not a mortgage on my country and a multi-trillion dollar hand out to the already richest people in the world! It's fucking bull shit and I hate it.

I'm sorry America, but you've been bamboozled! This man has been bought and paid for by the International Banking Cartel, the same people who have engineered our current "economic crisis" and essentially been responsible for every major war in the past 300 years (at least.) I know this sounds like a rant or "crack pot shit" to most people, and I am getting off subject... If you'd like a deeper understanding of what and who really runs our country I'd recommend some of the following documentaries:

The Obama Deception

America: Freedom To Fascism

The Capitalist Conspiracy

Here are the three issues I voted for Obama on and how he has let me down:

1. The War in the Middle East: Doesn't anybody else remember Obama saying he would end the war? So far he's sent more troops and has the war in Iraq scheduled to end in December of 2011... just in time to get re-elected. Also, there is absolutely no time table for afghanistan, a country that has never been successfully occupied in the past 3000 years. War is horrible and no one wants it, it's archaic and never solves anything.

2. Human Rights: I really like how Obama announced he was closing guantanamo on his first day in office to much fan fare, then quietly withdrew the statement a few months later.... Slick. Our country still tortures, our country continues to violates constitutional rights, our country continues to spy on it's own people.,... How's is this a "Change?"

3. Health Care: Where the fuck is my socialized healthcare!!!! I demand it now!!!! and if you believe that people in the U.K., Japan, Germany, France, Canada, and every other first world country have lower quality healthcare than we do, you are an idiot. The idea that socialized healthcare is a bad idea is a concept perpetuated by GUESS WHO.... DRUG AND MEDICAL SUPPLY COMPANIES! The people who profit from human suffering. We still aren't going to get a decent healthcare system that cuts out the corporate middle men. I recommend marrying a canadian.

Well, I guess anything is better than this dumbass bear couch having cunt.

If it wasn't Illegal to say(?) that I would choke Obama out, I would totally say that I would choke Obama out. Barack Obama I FUCKING HATE YOU!

I Hate Kanye West and Homophobia in Hip Hop

Well, before anyone else addresses my blog title I figure I should smash this down. H808 is named after the Roland tr-808 drum machine and is in no way affiliated with Kanye West's shit bird auto tune record "808s and Heartbreak" This Record sucks a bag of dicks, and is a good example of why you should stop listening to music all together. I would also like to take this opportunity to point out the fact that Kanye is a worthless turd and the world would be a better place if he was raped to death by rabid camels.

Kanye, Here are some reasons why I hate you.

1) Your Music Sucks: Sampling techno into hip hop is not an innovation... if anything it's a step back. You've spawned two entire summers of terrible ecstasy fueled pseudo urban club music. Nobody cares about poppin' bottles and feelin' on some shortys in '09. Nigga, I'm tryin' to make rent. I'm about to make hate in this club.

2) You Are A Pompous Asshole: Remember this little gem? MTV Awards Tantrum I feel like the rest of the world should throw a temper tantrum whenever you WIN an award... wake up call; YOU ARE NOT THE NEW MICHAEL JACKSON.... BITCH YOU CAN'T EVEN SING OR PLAY AN INSTRUMENT

3) Your Wardrobe: Serious, who dresses you? The colorblind love child of Elton John and Dee Snider? You look like a peacock in heat.

4) You Are Still In The Closet: Kanye, it's OK to be gay. Serious man, the glasses, the tight pants, the bald headed girlfriend... we all already know you're a gay fish and we're cool with it... Why don't you do something profound with your career and be the first outed mainstream rapper? At least you have this in common with MJ.

and this brings me around to another target of my boundless hate... Homophobia in hip hop... Why is this still socially acceptable... Sebastian Bach of Skid Row was nearly crucified 20 years ago for wearing an "AIDS: kills fags dead" t-shirt, but it's OK for Jay-Z and 50 cent to drop this same plebeian drivel today? NEWS FLASH DOUCHEBAGS.... two of the founding fathers of hip hop, Grand Master Flash and Afrika Bambaataa, are both gay! Look it up, Flash came out a couple yeas ago and Afrika has been flaming since '81. I'm sick of this hypocritical bull shit... I hate it.

Here's some Homo Thug Lesbo rap I'd rather listen to.