I Hate Jesus

I feel like this has been a long time coming. Jesus, you don't love me, and stop saying you do. It hurts. That's not love, all your rules and conditions. If you love me so much, accept me as I am.

I'm so sick of having you tell me how live my life all the time, who do you think you are? You act like you're all powerful... you know Jesus, if you have so many magic powers, why don't you start solving some of the worlds problems instead of making a bunch of wine and fishes for you and your dozen buddies and wandering around in the desert all day. In fact why don't you cut your hair, lose those stinky sandals, and get a job.

And you're always playing the martyr. "I died to save you" Saved me? I'm pretty sure the only thing you ever saved was a bunch of fancy hat wearing pedophiles from paying their taxes. And no, I will not give you any money. Stop asking!

I mostly reserve my hate for people and things that really exist. But you're kind of a special case. You're kind of like the Michael Jackson of deities, I mean how you slowly turned yourself white over the years and all. You know, it's not so much you, as your followers. No wait, yeah, It's you.

Jesus Christ, You stinky hippy hooker loving hummus eating lazy lying judgemental jew. You, Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, Luke Skywalker, Abraham Lincoln, and all your other imaginary friends can climb a shit rope ladder. I fucking hate you. Bring it.